Truck Awards

Shay, William, Farmer, Ross, Shelagh, Ali, Helen, Stephanie, Brian, Barbara-Jeanne
Jeff, Hiro, Colin, Steve, Becky, Meghan, Eric, Suzanne, Mark, Guy

It brings us great pleasure to present the inaugural edition of the Oasis Overland Cape Town to Cairo Truck Awards! Everyone on this list spent at least part of the past four months with us, striving every day to earn the awards presented here. So let the boasting and toasting begin! Without any further delay, may I present (drum roll please)…

Ali The “Women’s lib” Award: Ali, for being most likely to fight for women’s rights in Muslim countries, usually by smoking in front of them.

The “Essex tart”Award: Ali, just because we all know it’s her true self, deep down.
Andi The “Beer me, please” Award: Andi, for being the most likely to have a beer in hand within 2 minutes of stopping for the night. Runner up: Grant

The “Know-it-all” Award: Andi, for always seeming to have an answer, no matter how ridiculous the question.
Barbara-Jeanne The “Can you hear me now?” Award: Barbara-Jeanne, for being audible from several miles away. Runner up: Andi after a few beers, and Ross when there’s a vuvuzela around.

The “That’s not my name” Award: Barbara-Jeanne, for having the longest name on the truck, and stubbornly refusing to allow anyone to shorten it in any way.

The “Fric n’ frac” Award: Barbara-Jeanne, for using the largest vocabulary of words that we’re not sure exist.
Becky The “Some of it is my hair” Award: Becky, for having the best, and worst, truck weaves in Africa. Runner up: Wee Bam, for sporting Barbara-Jeanne’s hair so fashionably.
Breffni The “I’m invisible” Award: Breffni, for being least likely to show up in anyone else’s photos. Runner up: Kevin

The “How short do you want it?” Award: Breffni and Luke, for providing excellent salon and barbershop services, anywhere you like.
Bryan The “Oh yes, I’ve always been interested in yoga” Award: Bryan, for being most likely to do yoga just because it might impress Stephanie.
Colin The “That’s not a knife” Award: Colin, for being most likely to have stolen that white-handled kitchen knife from the truck.

The “I read them for the articles” Award: Colin, for his large collection of fine literature for men.
Debs The “I’m a celebrity, get me out of here” Award: Debs, for leaving us so early on.

The “Where’s the fire?” Award: Debs, because where there’s smoke (smokes, smoking), there’s fire — and Debs.
Eric The “I get three bars here” Award: Eric, for being most likely to know whether or not there’s a wi-fi network around. Runners up: William and Mark
Farmer The “I showered twice last month” Award: Farmer, for being the least likely to take a shower, even if one is available.

The “Down with progress!” Award: Farmer, for being most likely to argue passionately in defense of Tesco’s employees and their endangered jobs.
Grant The “I hate those damn beans” award: Grant, for being most likely to blow up a bean factory, if he ever found one.

The “Skip to my lou” Award: Grant, for being by far the most talented male double-dutch jump-roper on the truck.
Guy The “It’s pronounced ‘mou-lay'” Award: Guy, even though we all know it’s just a mullet. Runner up: Farmer

The “I’m still pretty drunk, eh” Award: Guy, for being most likely to still be drinking the next morning. Runner up: Guy’s liver
Helen The “Hold me closer, Tony Danza” Award: Helen, for usually sitting more on Colin’s seat than on her own. Runner up: Stephanie, but on Bryan’s seat, obviously.
Hiro The “Tell it like it is” Award: Hiro, for always saying what’s on his mind, and often asking what the rest of us were afraid to ask, however inappropriate. Runner up: Suzanne

The “Mr. Sunshine” Award: Hiro, for always being cheerful and enthusiastic.

The “Best English” Award: Hiro, because let’s face it, he really did speak better English than all of us. Runner up: Nobody
Jeff The “Squeaky clean” Award: Jeff, for being the cleanest all-around overlander. Runner up: William, even though he did use more hair product.

The “5 spades” Award: Jeff, for the most consistently unpredictable bridge bidding.
Kevin The “Meh” Award: Kevin, for being most likely to appear unimpressed, even when he is.

The “Hat’s off” Award: Kevin, for having the most Australian-looking hat, and being Australian too. Runner up: William, because it’s a Tilley.
Luke The “They’ve got another few years in ‘em” Award: Luke, for having the most absurdly worn out sandals ever, and still wearing them. This also contributed to the next Award…

The “Get those out of my face!” Award: Luke, for having the smelliest feet. Runner up: Farmer
Mark The “Mr. Perfect” Award: Mark, as nominated by Guy and Farmer, although Meghan disagrees.

The “I know how they look, but they’re so comfortable” Award: Mark, for being an unpaid Crocs ambassador. Runners up: Meghan, Jeff, Colin, Helen, and Suzanne
Meghan The “Namaste” Award: Meghan, for inspiring so much yoga in so many people.

The “The sun can do that!” Award: Meghan, for explaining the concept of sunshine-created charcoal to everyone.
Ross The “I’ll take two” Award: Ross, for being most likely to buy it, whatever it is, and especially after a cider or two. Runner up: Becky

The “He works through me” Award: Ross, for channeling Wee Bam’s personality so impartially.
Shay The “Like” Award: Shay like, for being most likely, like.

The “I know how to wear them” Award: Shay, for wearing Birkenstocks and not being teased for it, and also for never polishing them, at least in public.
Shelagh The “Ooh, it was lovely” Award: Shelagh, for being most likely to be pleased with anything and everything.
Stephanie The “I fell down some stairs” Award: Stephanie, for being most likely to injure herself, usually around the eyes somewhere. Runner up: Meghan, for actually falling down some stairs.

The “Let’s get physical” Award: Stephanie, for being the most fanatical workout addict, even when it’s 47¬∫C outside. Runner up: Jeff
Steve The “Babel fish” Award: Steve, for always making things crystal clear. Runners up: All the Auzzies, Kiwis, Scots, Irish, Dutch, Welsh, and British, for being completely incomprehensible to us North Americans.

The “No haircut required” Award: Steve, for having the slowest-growing hair on the truck.
Suzanne The “Dust-buster” Award: Suzanne, for having the most complete anti-dust costume on the truck.
Wee Bam The “Sheeeeeeeeeelaaaaaagh” Award: Wee Bam, for being most likely to appear in Shelagh’s dreams, or nightmares.
William The “Yup, I’ve got that” Award: William, for being most likely to have whatever it is you need to borrow, even if it’s a travel iron.

The “I’m cleaner than Jeff!” Award: William, even though we all know it’s not true.

Congratulations to everyone on their achievements! If anyone has any other nominations, be sure to comment below (but remember, we’re all friends here, right? Right?). It was a great four months together, and we’ve got some memories that we’ll never forget, even if we wanted to. We wish everyone the best in their future travels and endeavors, and hope our paths will cross again someday soon.


    Hilarious and mostly all well deserved awards!!!! Very funny and well thought out!

    Although I must admit that I’m pretty unimpressed with the ‘Essex Tart’ award! I am not from Essex and I am not a tart!

    Clearly I failed to explain the description of an ‘Essex Tart’ properly : Fake boobs, fake nails, fake tan; peroxide hair; chavvy jewellery; no brains; chavvy accent – I admit that I posess the last two, but that’s it ;D

    Hahahaha – brilliant guys :) Enjoy the rest of your trip xx

    Brilliant, very well deserved,, great meeting you all it was an awsome trip,

    Have a great trip guyus.

    Mark thought you’d like that one. Isn’t a ‘tart’ a compliment?

  1. Jeff Woolhouse

  2. Just remember that Bridge is a game … I like to spice it up occasionally !!

    Perhaps the award should have been for the “Spiciest bridge player” instead, eh? ;)

    What happened to the quote of the trip award?

    Oooh, good one. Any nominees?

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